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Sunday, October 20, 2013

Dancing in the Rain

Some people wonder what I do when I am at a party.  Do I just not eat?  No, not at all.  I have learned to eat as I normally do all day so that I am not starving by the time I get to the party.  If there are healthy options, I will definitely try to go that route.  But, I also allow myself to indulge from time to time.  Take my niece's birthday party - I knew I would be eating pizza and having a cupcake for dessert so I made sure I worked out and ate really well all day.  I don't feel guilty about it but I did enjoy every second of eating that pizza and cupcake :)  I'm still a normal person - I just try to make better choices for myself on a daily basis so I don't feel guilty about indulging from time to time.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

So true.  As happy as I am now, I can't say I don't have bad moments or even a frustrating day here and there.  Who doesn't.  I think what's different now is how I choose to react to those frustrating moments or occasions.  I can sit around and wait for the situation to pass and just let it fester inside of me (what I used to do) or I can figure out how to work and live through it, hence the dancing in the rain.  

For example, this whole cooking thing.  To this day I feel like a complete moron about food and anything related to cooking.  It overwhelms me and makes me feel stupid.  However, I keep trying.  Well, except for that whole recipes thing but we can just keep that between you and me, right? ;)  When I first started this lifestyle change, I had absolutely no idea where to start.  With a lot of help, (and explicit instructions...) I was able to get started.  I could have just given up and said, screw it, I don't understand.  But, instead, I chose to laugh at myself and take all of my mistakes and stupid questions in stride.  If I can't laugh at myself, how will I ever get through all of this and sort of learn how to cook??  Notice I said sort of...

If I can't learn how to work through all of the difficult times, how will I ever enjoy all of the happy ones?  That was another part of my struggle.  As I've said before, I was constantly consumed by the bad things in my life.  I would put on a brave smile but I never really worked through them.  Since I've started figuring out who I am and what makes me happy, I'm not consumed by frustrating things anymore.  I just love living my life and try to enjoy every second I have while I am awake. 

I also think part of learning to dance in the rain is being happy.  I think I've said before, I see such a happiness in my face that wasn't there 9 months ago.  I've had several people comment when they see me that I just look happy.  Truthfully, this is the first time in my adult life I can remember people telling me that I look happy.  Fake smiles only go so far.  When you are truly happy, it will radiate through everything you do.  I am living proof of that.

If you want your life to change, your choices and actions must change.  Every day brings a chance to start over.