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Saturday, October 5, 2013

Taking the Easy Way Out and Trying New Things

After a long day on Wednesday, I knew Thursday was going to be another busy one.  Traveling around in the morning to visit my off-site students, a normal busy day and then a staff meeting after school.  This meant I didn't leave work til after 4.  My brother's team had a game about 30 minutes away from my house and I debated all day about whether I wanted to go.  I ended up going and had fun.  However, that also meant that I had zero time to get any exercise in that day.  That very rarely happens and I felt sorta guilty but I figured one day wouldn't kill me.  After all, I had lost another pound that week, I had forced myself to go for a walk after conferences and I was hardly tempted by bad food anymore.

So, in my email to Renee' that night to update her on my life, I told her that I didn't do anything.  I usually tell her about my workouts so I knew she would be suspicious if I just didn't say anything.  Well, she did exactly what I needed her to do, although I didn't know it.  She told me that, no matter what, I have to find a way to get something active in every day.  Even if it is just 10 minutes.  I knew she was right and I love that she "yelled" at me.  I get comfortable way too easy.  It's how I've gotten myself in trouble before with weight loss.  In some ways, I think it is how I sabotage myself.  Yes, I am definitely guilty of that.  So, to have someone remind me that I can't let all my hard work go to waste, is awesome.  It's what I need from time to time to keep myself on track and stay active.  The other funny part??  Other than kinda nodding my head in shame when I read her response, I didn't get upset.  A year ago if someone had written something like that to me, no matter how good natured it was intended to be, I would have been so upset for the rest of the day.  Guess it really is a new me!

Friday was also an interesting day.  Definitely tired and feeling lazy from the week.  A co-worker's husband brought in donuts but, know what??  They didn't even smell appetizing.  What an amazing feeling!  I went to a counselor luncheon at an Italian restaurant that afternoon.  Me and Italian food can be a dangerous combination.  I LOVE anything with pasta, sauce and cheese.  But, I knew I didn't need to go crazy.  I had a decent amount of salad and stuck mostly with chicken.  The two pasta dishes looked delicious so I took one bite of each one just to satisfy my taste buds.  Funny thing - one bite was enough.  And, for dessert, I stuck with fresh fruit and my york peppermint patties.  I really am a new person!

That evening I was excited to see a couple of my friends from my previous job.  We participated in a Beer Run and had a blast!  I wore a tutu and made a complete fool out of myself and I didn't even care!  A year ago, I never would have done anything like this, nor would I have put on a tutu.

 I have finally found those things called self confidence and self esteem that really make life worth living.  I absolutely have (with a lot of help and support) created a better version of myself.  I am happy, healthy and living my life.  Although there are still so many things I still have to force myself to do, every day I make a little bit of progress and it feels great!!