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Friday, January 31, 2014


I know I've touched on this at different times in this blog but I really used to question what it was like to have real friendships in life.  Don't get me wrong, I would say that I've been lucky enough to have a couple of awesome friends in my life.  My sisters and my mom are truly my best friends in the whole world.  My life wouldn't be the same without them.  However, until this past year, I'm not sure I truly figured out what it was like to have more than one or two real friends.  People who are there for you when you need them, enjoy seeing you happy, and want to see you succeed, just to name a few things.  It has definitely been a bit of a foreign concept to me that there are people like that in the world.  I feel lucky that I've found a few of them. 

With that, I found a few quotes about friendship and thought I would describe what they mean to me.  

A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

I know my family could always see the pain behind my smile but I don't think there were many other people who took the time to really look at me that closely.  I don't blame them because I never let anyone get that close to me.  I found ways to push them away without even realizing that's what I was doing.  I think part of it was trying to protect myself from being hurt because I just expected it to happen.  After all, it's just what I was used to.

I think, well, actually, I know, what this quote says is what made me trust and open up to Renee' sooner than I ever thought I would.  Right away.  She took the time to ask me questions that were just about me, not anyone else.  I know I was still trying to hide the pain in my eyes but I'm pretty sure she could see it.  I tried to smile a lot when I first met her but I also know I still wasn't sure where I was going to end up or how all of this was going to work.  After the first week or so, I knew we could be friends.  But I wasn't sure how that would work.  After all, I still wasn't sure that I was worthy of us becoming friends.  That was just all my insecurities coming to the surface.  The friendship just kind of happened and she's one of my closest friends now.  Amazing what can happen when you start to open up to the people around you.

A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become and still gently allows you to grow.

I think my newest friends, the ones I've mostly met through my new job, fall into this category.  As they've taken the time to get to know me, they have an understanding of where I've been.  Although they'll never know the old Amanda (for which I couldn't be more thankful), they are enjoying the benefits of my figuring out who I am.  They like me for who I've become and they are pushing me to keep growing.  In lots of ways.  They've taken the time to get to know me as a person and that means more to me than I think they'll ever know.

If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone.

Once you learn how to like yourself, people will want to be around you.  I can't even begin to tell you how true this is in my life.  For so long, because I didn't like myself, I think I came across as standoffish and not real friendly.  Thankfully, I have seen that change in myself simply by learning that I'm a pretty great person, flaws and all.  

If you're still looking for a resolution for 2014, challenge yourself to get to know somebody you don't know much about.  If nothing else, you'll learn something.  And, hey, that person might end up becoming one of your best friends.  I'm so lucky to have such a solid group of friends in my life now.