"I love the person I am today, and without the lessons I learned from my past, my journey, I would not be me. Life is a journey, Live it!"
Journey - I've used that word a ton this year and in this blog...I've been doing a lot of trying to forget, learning to forgive and figuring out how to trust myself in the last year. These have all been huge pieces of the immense self discovery and growth I've both found and experienced this year.
And, I've come to the conclusion that I would never want to forget my past. Every single thing that has ever happened to me, that I've been a part of, has made me the person I am, flaws and all. Insecurities and all. I wouldn't be human if I didn't have flaws and insecurities. Even the strongest person in the world has insecurity about something or someone. That's something I've also learned. For so long I had a big "woe is me" attitude about life. I felt like everyone and everything was out to get me. As I've learned how to like and love myself (two very different but important things to do for yourself), I've discovered that as I became more confident in who I am that people want to be around me. They respect me for who I am because I am happy with myself. I don't think I ever realized how much liking yourself leads to others wanting to be part of your world in any way you'll let them.
Figuring out myself is an ongoing process. I don't know that I will ever completely understand myself. Maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe that's all part of the journey that is life. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is. For me, it's about pushing myself to do things I don't want to do. Some people might struggle to understand why that is hard for me. Well, sometimes I have trouble understanding how some people can be so outgoing and talk to anyone around them. The great part about that - it's what makes the world a fun place. We're all different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Meeting people who are different from you is another part of the journey of life. It helps you find parts of yourself you didn't know existed. I know that has happened more times than I can count this year for me. And I couldn't be more thankful. I actually speak a little bit now in front of people I don't know that well. I constantly laugh at myself because it's part of learning to not take everything in life so seriously. It's part of living life.
Over the past year I've learned to love the journey that is life. Sometimes I wish I would have figured it out sooner but, I have long believed that there is a reason for everything. I may not have always understood why things happen but I believe the outcome has led me to someone, somewhere or something that is meant to be. A year ago I didn't have all of the amazing friends I have today. I didn't have energy and a love for life that I can't imagine being without now.
And, just to make a certain someone happy, without all of this, my core muscles would not be killing me every time I cough right now... But that's a good thing, right?