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Sunday, October 5, 2014

Forget, Don't Sweat It and Embrace It

Recently my aunt sent me an email with a quote in it that she loves.  She knows how much I love quotes.  And her.  She is such an amazing person, inside and out. When I read the quote, I immediately loved it but wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it.  When I read quotes or sayings I love or that inspire me, sometimes I post them on FB or twitter.  Other times I keep them to myself and wait for something to click.  I did the latter with this one.  I figured something would eventually click with it.  And give me inspiration to write.  

"Forget yesterday - it has already forgotten you.  Don't sweat tomorrow - 
you haven't even met.  Instead, open your eyes and 
your heart to a truly precious gift - today."  
- Steve Maraboli

I know I've written about it before but, I'm a planner.  And I love routines.  Having an idea of what is going to happen helps me get through this crazy thing called life.  However, I also know that I can't go through this adventure always knowing what is going to happen.  Or dwelling on what happened in the past.

When someone tells me to forget yesterday because it has already forgotten me, that can be difficult at times.  First, because I have a memory of steel.  Literally.  I can remember things no one has the right or need to remember.  Many times, it's a great trait to have.  However, it does make it difficult to "forget yesterday" when something not so good happens.  Throughout this process of changing my life, I've had to figure out how I can go about forgetting yesterday.  For me, that means not dwelling on things that happen.  Or letting how those things make me feel control my mood, feelings or life.  Easier said than done.  It's taken me awhile but I've figured out that having some amazing people to talk to has made it easier for me to forget yesterday.  I've slowly realized that part of the reason why I couldn't forget yesterday even though it had already forgotten me was because I didn't know how to process my thoughts and feelings.  And I often didn't let myself process them.  Which led to bottling things up inside until I exploded.  I have finally allowed processing my feelings to become part of how I live life.  It's been an amazing discovery for me.  And it has changed how I function in such a positive way.

Ever try telling a planner to not worry about the future?  How'd that work for you?  My guess is that it didn't go over real well.  There's all different kinds of people in the world.  It's what makes life interesting.  So, when you tell me (or someone like me) to not sweat tomorrow, you'll probably get a little smile and nod and then I'll go back to planning what's going to happen.  The funny part?  As I've grown and changed over the last 20 months, I've become a little less of a planner and a little more willing to go with the flow.  I think it's because I have more confidence in myself.  Planning and routines will always be a part of who I am.  But, like everything in life, there's a place for it and I'm slowly finding where they fit in in my life.  

It's amazing how it feels to open up my heart.  I have spent so many years so closed off from the world.  As I've developed more confidence, and belief in myself, I've opened up to the world a little bit at a time.  Being vulnerable is extremely difficult and scary for me.  Probably more so than for the average person.  But, I've learned to embrace that about myself.  I wouldn't be who I am without that piece of my personality.  And, turns out, there's nothing wrong with who I am.  

So, putting all this together, what does it mean?  It means if you take the time to really get to know yourself, to figure yourself out, and do things for yourself and those you love, you'll truly be able to embrace the gift you're given every 24 hours - today.

My transformation - Inside and out :) 

The three pieces of my heart :)