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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

It's Been Quite A Year.... Again!

Last year at this time I was writing about my year in review.  I couldn't believe everything that had happened in 2013 and how much self discovery I had found my way through. Honestly, I still can't believe it.  Of course, I did it all with a lot of help.

So, as I begin to look back on 2014, it's absolutely crazy to me that another year has gone by.  I never thought anything could top 2013.  And, to be honest, I don't think anything will compare to what I achieved and accomplished last year.  This year has been incredible in other ways.  But, it's amazing how much better life has gotten and how 2014 has been an even better year than I thought was possible.

It's definitely been a year about finding balance, looking for different things to work towards and just, in general, figuring myself out even more.  It took me a long time to figure out that I couldn't have my life revolve around a number on the scale.  In fact, I got to a point where I had to put the scale in the closet.  I was allowing that number to control my life.  While it's healthy to know my weight, I don't need to be checking it several times a day.  Even now, I only get the scale out every couple of weeks.  Sounds strange but this was a huge step for me.

Once I did that I was sitting around like, okay, now what?  For so long my life has revolved around my weight and all the emotional and physical struggles that come with a lifelong struggle with weight.  So, now I had to find something else to focus on.

Even though I don't really enjoy running, I decided doing some different races, setting goals and having different times to beat would be something I could work towards.  But, where to start?  Yeah, I can run here and there.  But for more than a mile at a time?  Yeah, not really my strong suit.  But, as I kept working, I realized that every small step I took was a step towards achieving another goal.  And, for me, achieving goals that were not weight loss related was a huge step in the right direction.  I did a 5k (ran the whole thing) two 10k's (where I only walked a little and ran the first 3 miles without stopping) and a 4 mile race (which I ran without stopping).  Each time I accomplished something, I found another piece of that confidence I have been searching for for so many years.  

See, unfortunately, confidence isn't something we are all born with.  Well, maybe we are but, for some, it's more difficult to find.  That would be me.  I have always struggled with believing in myself.  So, finding other things to celebrate and focus on other than weight were huge milestones for me.  I love that I wake up with a smile on my face almost every day.  Just two years ago, I never could have imagined that would happen.   

Figuring myself out has been and continues to be a long process.  But, it really is crazy to look back on these last 23 months and see just how much my life has changed for the better.  I have finally figured out how to put myself first without giving up the things that are important to me.  Balance is a struggle for me.  But, I do believe that each day I get a little better at it.  

It's difficult to sum up 2014 but, if I have to, I can just say that it's been a year of growth, change and even more self-discovery.  And, although this process can be difficult at times, every step is necessary. 

I'm so excited to see what 2015 has in store for me!