Although I didn't know it at the time, when I first met Renee' and started this adventure, there was one reason this was going to work. Someone believed in me and my ability to achieve goals. Find the one reason you need and you will find what you are looking for. I promise.
It's been a couple of weeks since I talked about my life. I guess that's probably because there isn't a lot going on. However, I'm okay with that. I have managed to lose a couple more pounds in the last 2 weeks. I'm hoping for more tomorrow but, even if I don't lose any weight, I'll be happy with the fact that I am still continuing on this healthy lifestyle.
Over the weekend, I watched my niece and nephew overnight. It was a blast and having the energy I need to keep up with them is the best feeling in the world. I also took them out to dinner and still ordered healthy food instead of going for something greasy and fried. The more I think about it, the more I realize that is the way I live my life now. Why would I want to go backwards?
Yesterday there were a bunch of squats and stuff at boot camp. I felt fine when we got done. However, getting out of bed this morning was another story. I look like an old person trying to get out of my car and walk! I haven't been sore like that in a long time but I know it's the "good soreness". I'm going back tomorrow, we'll see what happens...
Luckily, it was still nice outside today so I was able to get outside for awhile. I don't mind the gym, I just get bored so I'm trying to not go until it's too cold for me to be outside because I know there's going to be a few months where I'm stuck inside. It's amazing to me how much less I worry about being cold. I just love getting the fresh air. Plus, my inhaler has been a godsend too.
I swear, food is the hardest part of this whole adventure. I think it will be for a long time. I went to a luncheon today for school and, as soon as I walked in, there was a piece of cheesecake sitting in front of me. If you've been following my story, you know I have a huge sweet tooth. I pushed it out of my reach and just tried to ignore it. Once I ate the lunch, it actually wasn't as tempting. I managed to get some tea and eat the yorks I had brought with me. And I was completely satisfied. As time goes on, it definitely does get easier to resist certain temptations. I also learned what cauliflower is but my ignorance with food is a whole other story!
I used to stress eat ALL the time. I know that's one of the major factors that got me to 281 pounds. I also used to shop all the time. Somehow, it felt like therapy for me. I thought having a bunch clothes would make me happier. It worked for about 5 minutes but was never a permanent fix for how I felt. (By the way, I love using the past tense of that word....felt). Someone asked me today, what do you do now instead of eating or shopping? I had to think about it but, honestly, I exercise. Even if it is just a short walk, I try to get my body moving. Now, I am not afraid to pick up the phone and call or text someone if I'm feeling lonely or something. I know I have so many wonderful people in my life that would drop everything to be there for me. A year ago, I would have curled up on the couch and fallen asleep while feeling sorry for myself.
If you are contemplating a lifestyle change, here are some tips I can offer to you:
1. If you are an emotional eater (like me), try to figure out what triggers make you eat. If you can't avoid the triggers, find a different way to deal with the feelings. Or, make a goal on the number of times you'll give in to the emotional eating.
2. If you have a way of coping that may not be the healthiest option (like my shopping sprees), find a healthier way to expend that energy or channel whatever feeling you are having. Exercise has really become that for me. It gives off endorphins, I'm making my body and mind healthier and I'm getting into better shape all at the same time.
3. Exercise - just walk for 10 minutes a day. Pretty soon that will turn into 15, 20, 25 and eventually 30 minutes. You'll be amazed at how great the fresh air feels and what a world of good it does for your soul. Just the other day, I bundled up, went for a walk and felt completely refreshed after being on a bus for 5 hours and touring a college campus with 31 teenagers. Yes, it was cold but the cold air was almost therapeutic. Weird, I know.
4. Food - Don't deprive yourself. I've (slowly) figured out that I can eat a cookie if I want to. I just can't eat 12. I also know there are certain things I just can't keep in my house. Certain foods are triggers for me. I think I always knew that, I just chose to ignore it and keep eating. I don't use food to comfort me anymore.
And, finally, I found this quote tonight and it completely describes me throughout this whole process (although I've never really taken myself seriously...):
I was taking myself very seriously when I was going through life changes. And I realized that I needed to laugh at myself, particularly at my mistakes.
Don't take yourself too seriously. I don't anymore and some of the best laughs I have are at my own expense. If you can't laugh at yourself, who will?
I have fun in life in ways I never thought possible. Here's a picture to prove it -
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