I have a huge sweet tooth. I probably used to gain at least 10 pounds during the Christmas season just because I would eat any cookie, fudge, brownie, etc that I could get my hands on. I convinced myself it wasn't a big deal because it's not like I ate like that all the time. Right. Actually I did eat like that all the time. I just chose to try to bury it underneath my fake smile.
So, how was I going to survive this year? I actually never thought I would make it the last couple of months constantly walking past all of the Christmas candy at the store. However, I realized that it wasn't that I couldn't eat the candy. I just didn't need to. I had my dark chocolate and my york peppermint patties. And, I knew at some point I would indulge. I just wouldn't go overboard.
I think the biggest difference this year is that I'm not using all the sweets and extra food to heal what's broken inside of me. If I want to have some, I will. I just won't eat 10. Honest truth? I used to eat 10. I would just pop stuff in my mouth and then pretend like I didn't really eat all of the stuff I had just put in my mouth. I actually avoided the sweets at work for the majority of the holiday season. By the last day of school before break, I decided that if someone offered me something, I would try a little bit. I won't lie, that chocolate chip cookie and handful of m&m's were delicious! But, it was all I needed. Could I have eaten more? Of course. But, I reminded myself how upset I would be later when I realized how much junk I put in my mouth. And I wasn't overly tempted to eat more. When did that happen?? :)
The next day was my family's annual cookie day. We get together, decorate cookies, make buckeyes, eat food and just have a ton of fun. Normally a death trap for someone who loves sweets but is trying to not eat too much of them! I got up and worked out in the morning like I usually do. I ate a normal breakfast. However, the rest of the day was a complete wash as far as food goes! Snacks for lunch, decorating cookies (although I did pretty good with not eating too many) and then olive garden for dinner. Although I wasn't overly happy with myself for the way I ate that day, I also wasn't feeling real guilty. Why? Because I NEVER eat like I did that day. And it's okay to have a day here and there where you indulge. The difference now is that I am able to go right back to the way I need to eat the next day. I don't let one bad day set me back. It's not worth it to be that hard on yourself. Trust me. I've done it.
Of course I'm sure I will eat some holiday treats over the break but it's really fun to see that I actually have the willpower to just have one. I think my conscience and Renee's voice in my head are big parts of that but, hey, it's an achievement for me!
It's so fun to enjoy the holidays (food included) in ways I never have before. I am so excited for Christmas with my family, seeing the looks on the kids faces and so much more. What a difference a year makes!
As Christmas and New Year's approaches:
May your home be filled with lots of love, laughter and yummy smells!
Thanks for taking the time to share my journey with me!
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