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Friday, March 6, 2015

You'll Just Know...

You will know you made the right decision; you feel the stress leaving your body, your life.

I pinned this quote about a month ago and immediately people started pinning it from me.  It's funny how something as small as a quote can relate people who never have (and never will) meet.   It completely spoke to me the first time I read it.  So, I thought I would write about how it speaks to me.

In the last two years I have had to make more difficult decisions than I ever thought I would have to make in my lifetime.  In one way or another, every single one of them has made me a better person.  Maybe better isn't the right word.  I think stronger is more accurate.  And confident.  Two years ago, making decisions was one of the most difficult things for me to do.  Many times, it was because I didn't have the confidence to believe that anyone really cared what I thought.  I would just blend in, go along with the majority and never speak my mind.  Even though I had opinions, I never had the confidence to voice those opinions.  

Making the decision to start working on bettering myself was one of the most difficult choices I've ever made.  I had to really look inside myself and decide if I was willing to put myself out there and open up in ways I never had before.  As I've said before, it was the best choice I've ever made.  It has allowed me to find my health, real and true happiness, friendships, happiness in my career again and so much more.  It didn't all happen at once.  But, as soon as I made the decision and took some steps to start to make some of my hopes and dreams into reality, I truly did feel the stress leave my body.  And it got better each and every day.  I was less short with people.  I smiled so much more than I ever thought possible (and I have a pretty natural smile).  And there was actual happiness behind that smile.  It wasn't fake the way it had been for so long.  

I guess that's one thing that has stuck with me the most.  Happiness doesn't come from looking good on the outside.  It helps a little.  But, I still am extremely hard on myself and see a very distorted image when I look in the mirror.  I have figured out that true happiness comes from a multitude of places.  It comes from being confident with who you are.  With where you are in your life.  And with where you are going.  Goals are so important.  They give you something to focus on and shoot for.  And, something to celebrate.  I've learned to celebrate and be happy about little and big things.  And I laugh at myself.  A lot.  I used to be so uptight about everything in life.  And, although I still like my routines, I am much more laid back than I used to be.  I consider it such a blessing that I was able to discover that part of myself.  Better late than never, right?

I've learned how to enjoy the simple things in life.  One of my favorite things in life is being an aunt.  Being around my four favorite people on a regular basis gives me so much joy.  They remind me of simpler times in life.  And I love running around and playing all kinds of games with them.  Cooper remembers me 2 years ago.  And he makes comments every once in awhile that let me know he's noticed the changes I've made.  Although my nieces will never know the old me, I know all my experiences will be things I can share with them as they grow up.  

It's amazing what it feels like when all that stress does leave your life.  I still have my days when I struggle with emotions, food, wanting to exercise, etc.  But, I've learned that's just part of life and it's okay.  I just pick myself up and move on to the next minute, hour, day, etc.  I can't put into words how much of a blessing that is for someone like me.  

Whatever you're trying to accomplish in your life, just know that anything is possible once you take the time to believe in yourself.