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Friday, October 11, 2013

Happiness - And Enjoying Down Time

Oh Fridays - For most people, it is the best day of the week.  The end of another week of work and the beginning of two days of freedom and, for most, fun plans with family and friends.  Much as I used to prefer being closed up in my house, I also used to not look forward to weekends very much.  Mostly because, unless I was babysitting my niece and nephew or hanging out with my family in some way, I would be cooped up in my house and probably wouldn't talk to anyone most of the weekend unless I ran some errands.  Kinda depressing, huh?  Big part of where I found myself in January 2013.  Not anyone's fault, it was just where I found myself. 

So, the first weekend in October and, for the first time in over a month, I didn't have anything to do.  I was actually looking forward to it!  I slept in, enjoyed a nice long walk on Saturday morning, watched my nephew play soccer and, my favorite part, I went shopping.  Under strict instruction, I gave away all of my warm clothes last spring when I was getting my spring/summer clothes out of storage.  So, as it started getting colder, I realized I didn't have anything to wear that was even semi-warm!  So, I went to the mall, visited a couple of stores and came away with some cute shirts, a couple of sweaters and..... two pairs of pants in a size 12!  I know I've said it before when I fit into a size 14, but to fit into a 12.... I don't think I can even describe that moment.  I didn't believe it and I was in the dressing room trying on the pants!  I sent Renee' a message because I was so excited and, when she responded, she told me 10's are waiting for me!  Leave it to her to remind me that I'm far from done on this journey :)  I can always count on her for that!  And it's awesome!

It's hard to describe how much more laid back I am in many situations.  My friend called me that afternoon and said she was near my house and wanted to stop by - I was so excited to see her and her little boy!  The old me would have been worried about how messy my house was and that there were so many things reachable for an 18 month old.  Now, I just sit and watch and laugh as he picks up different things and plays with random stuff he found.  So fun.  It was so good to catch up with Kim.  

In addition to being lazy, I started working on the personal training course.  Can't believe I really just wrote that.  Let's just say there's a lot to how the body functions and some weird names for processes and body parts.... I've got some studying to do!  I will say, I think it was mean of the people writing the course to compare muscle fibers (I think) to fried chicken.  Clearly, I don't eat fried chicken so why tempt me??  :)

So, although I thought my weekend was going to be quiet, it turned out that I kept myself busy, spent time with a good friend, and just relaxed.  Such a change from a year ago.  I don't feel bad for myself when I spend a day sitting on my couch, catching up on the shows I record throughout the week.  I just take advantage of the time to chill and not think about anything.  I love that my mind isn't going a million miles a minute thinking about all the things that are bad about my life.  Know what... there's hardly anything bad about my life these days.  I can't even begin to tell you how incredible that feels!

I love this quote and I think it really describes me in the last 8.5 months:

Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions.

I never thought I would understand how true that actually is - in so many ways!!