Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.
If I have learned one big lesson in life that has been reinforced this past year it is that the past is just that. The past. I can't change it, make it better, etc. So why focus on it? That's something I did a lot of but I no longer do and it has helped me make a complete transformation in who I am and who I am still working on becoming.
I have to focus on what I can do. What are the next steps? For me, I have to make goals. I am way to good at avoiding things that seem difficult or are out of my comfort zone. Granted, that comfort zone has gotten bigger in the past year and I try to make it get a little bigger every day. But, if I'm going to continue to grow and make great changes in my life, I have to focus on what I want those changes to be. In my mind, that requires measurable goals. And then figuring out what steps I need to take to reach those goals.
I have to spend the majority of my energy on finding the answers in my own way and my own time. No one is going to be able to do it for me. That's something else I've learned throughout the last year. No one could make me do anything that I've done. It's all been my choice (coupled with enormous support and encouragement from a number of people). And everything I do will continue to be my choice. I'll probably never find all the answers. But, I'll find the majority of them in my own way and in my own time. Then it will be on to the next challenge. And those are the greatest ways to spend my energy :)
To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on.
Throughout all of this, I've also learned that it's completely okay to be myself. That people like me for who I am, inside and out but mostly for who I am as a person. I believe one of the reasons people say they are inspired by me is not just about the weight loss. But it's also about how happiness just shines through me in so many ways. When I posted the picture of myself last week that showed me today right next to a picture of myself last year, someone at work even said, well, you're smiling, but you look miserable. My response? I was. A couple of people commented that I look like I am beaming in the picture from this year. Not only does that make me feel great, it makes me realize that I am finally being myself in so many ways that I used to be afraid to showcase. Every day I try to be the best person I can be. Do I make mistakes? Of course I do. Everyone does. But, instead of dwelling on it (see first quote), I learn what I did wrong, pick myself up and move on. What an amazing gift I've been given.
And all I want to do is pay it forward because I want other people to feel like I do. Proud, full of excitement and happier than I ever thought was possible. If you missed my before and after picture - here's a second glance at it. I hope you see what I see :)