So, you might be asking yourself, how could things keep getting better for this girl? Well, I ask myself that quite often. But, I think it is because I am finally figuring out who I am. As each day passes, I get happier and happier with who I am and who I am becoming. Like I said in a previous entry, I have a lot of wounds from different parts of my life. But, I feel like they are slowly starting to heal and that is allowing me to be happier than I have ever been.
Part of this has been accepting my past, including the many mistakes I've made and fully realizing a couple of things:
1. It doesn't define who I am or who I can become
2. I can overcome anything if I surround myself with positive people who bring out the best in me
I still struggle with a lot of things on a regular basis but they no longer consume me on a daily basis. It's rare that I think about the things that used to bring me down every day. And when I do, I try to find something positive to focus on or figure out what I'm supposed to take away from the situation or event. I've always been a believe in "Everything happens for a reason...Just believe". It's been hard for me to accept that through a lot of trials and errors in my life. BUT, at this point, I really do believe that everything I have been through has happened for a reason that I am now discovering or will learn at some point in my life.
So, in short, I think the main reason things keep getting better for me is because I wake up every day feeling happy and pleased with who I am. For many years, that didn't happen. If you are struggling with something, find someone to talk to or just sit down and do some soul searching to figure out what's going on inside of you. Trust me, I've done lots of soul searching over the last 8 months. I do have a degree in psychology so I have spent a decent amount of time analyzing myself. That can be good and bad. But, it's allowed me to figure some things out about myself, which I think is a vital part to all of the changes I've been able to make in such a short amount of time.
So, it was the beginning of September, and usually that can be a blah time of year. The school year is under way, no holidays in the near future, etc. However, I was still looking forward to every day. The weather was gorgeous and on Wednesday I decided to go to the park after school. I thought I was just going to do my normal walk/jog. Once I got going, I decided to keep jogging to see how far I could make it. When I got to a mile, I looked at my watch and couldn't believe I had just jogged a mile in 12 minutes! And, I did it again after I walked a little and caught my breath! What an amazing feeling. I still can't believe I did that!
The best day of the week?? Well, Thursday of course :) I managed to lose 2 more pounds for a grand total of 80 pounds in less than 8 months. Unreal. I couldn't believe it and I couldn't weight to tell Renee'. She was just as excited as I was. Since we hadn't really seen each other in a couple of months (other than a few minutes at a soccer game), we were trying to figure out a time to get together and do something. That afternoon ended up being the best and, although I'm not sure what I was thinking, I agreed to work out with her. I knew it would be good for me to learn some new exercises and stuff. Shortly into the workout, Renee' decided "80" would be the magic number for the day - 80 reps of everything. I just smiled and said, maybe I won't tell you when I lose 100 pounds.... (knowing that, of course, I will). I was surprised at what I was able to do but some of it was still really hard (guess that's the idea...). By the way, putting a band around my legs and resisting then stepping is NOT FUN! My legs were burning :) And yes, I know she'll read this and probably make me do it many more times - but it's okay! I was exhausted by the time I got done but it was fun at the same time. She told a little of my story to some of the athletes she trains who were warming up for their session. I'm still not good at having attention on myself but it made me smile and feel really good about myself. Having those feelings about myself is awesome and something I couldn't have imagined back in January.
Things could only get better... right?? :) :)